Listening to Sea Gulls

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I have been walking on the beach, whenever the weather would allow the last few weeks. Probably 8 out of the last 10 days. Sometimes making some discoveries and sometimes not. I would hope to discover something to write about. Yesterday morning I looked for a quote or song to share and I remembered some favorites from Jonathan Livingston Seagull. Nothing seemed quite right, so I shared something random from Lady Gaga. I watch Drew (Drew Barrymore) show every morning and she had me crying within minutes. Sometimes I stop writing in the morning, because the phrase "who cares" takes over my mind. And, all of these people outpouring their love for Drew just got to me. Then I kept seeing white flashes from the side of my eye. Thinking it was maybe caused by the crying, I really tried not to pay any attention. But, then I saw enough to know it was a bird. But, it was white and then I jumped up anxiously to see what bird would be flying or landing on my patio. It was seagulls circling above. I don't think I ever noticed sea gulls flying in my neighborhood before. I did grab my camera and will share in instagram stories today. But, as soon as I got a shot or two they flew away. It started to rain. I finished watching Drew and then went to the basement. I knew I recovered the vinyl record of Jonathan Livingston Seagull last Spring. Wasn't too sure I would find it, but I did. It has beautiful beach photos and the words to the songs. I decided to listen to the audio book and paint. It was not as satisfying as I hoped. But, keeping with the beach theme, I will give it a shot again and see what I come up with. Listening to something I had read,and was so inspired by when I was a teenager was comforting. But, I had to turn it off as he got older. When I first listened to it and thought about the solitude of life during quarantine I thought it was meaningful. But, this weekend I watched too many movies of women in different stages of life. Mostly, each experienced being controlled by others. It was the Free Britney documentary, Nomadland and I Care A Lot. I quickly realzied I was in too deep. And, this was not good and not very helpful. But, then at dinner time, as I cooked I picked up the paint brush again. I rarely ever do that. I usually only paint at 10am. But, anyway it got me through a rainy, dreary Monday. I am ready to walk on the beach again today. It was a beautiful sunset last night and sunrise this morning. I think I will think more about the words of Jonathan Livingston Seagull today. It is mostly about flying for the joy of it and not just for searching for food. I am trying to bring that to my painting. But, yesterday I had big expectations of myself. I just have to give it a break for a bit again, or maybe not. I'll just go with the flow today and just let it be. Quote of the day:“You have the freedom to be yourself, your true self, here and now, and nothing can stand in your way".” ― Richard Bach, Jonathan Livingston Seagull Song of the day: Neil Diamond Be

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