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Showing posts from September, 2021

For Every Wave that Comes Ashore

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As, this week flies by, I am working the last couple of days of an eight day in a row stint, to have five days off in a row. I am approaching a huge life changing month. It includes moving out of my house, and my 62nd birthday being celebrated. It is what we call in Art : "juxtaposition" at it's best. It feels surreal, but it is going to happen. I have mixed emotions which is what is making it hard. But, I am ready to move on. I wasn't put in this position, by having a choice. Actually, circumstances happened to me, to tell me this will be the best decision I have ever made in my life. I am taking back the steering wheel, and I don't have to worry about which way to turn any more. It is clear what I have to do to live the best life within my reach. And, baby, there is no doubt about it. I am reaching up to touch the sky! In August, Glen and I have been married for thirty nine years. We have been separated for three months, now. I have written a few

The Fork in the Road

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I am in this really deep place on this journey to joy. I don't know how to look forward without looking back. So this morning I was looking in the rearview mirrow. I was listening to the same music I listened to in my dorm room back in college when I was 19. Forty more years later, I feel pretty much the same. I am thinking of the future, not really knowing what it is going to be like. I have an idea of how I would like it be, just don't know how it will turn out. I am still sorting, purging and donating. In a week I move out of the house I have been living. The house I was supposed to retire in. The house to rest easy in. Instead, I am packing my bags and getting ready to move on. I am thankful every morning to wake with a feeling of optimism. I also still feel no matter what choices I made in life, they have all been good ones. I have lived a good life and am looking forward to all that life has to offer me. I am thankful I live in the land of hope and dre

These Boots Are Made for Walking

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I have been pretty proud of myself, how I have handled the gigantic losses in my life the last year. I even named it Journey to Joy. But, I can have a bad day or two or three or more!!!! One of the things that have helped me is reaching out to friends. And, just by talking it out and then going over the conversation in my head afterwards, it can help me sort "things" out. Most of all what I have found in this journey to joy is to concentrate on feeling the feels and not avoiding them. How would I normally avoid them? Well, mostly with food. So, I have been watching what I eat and drink. Mostly, drinking water, but with starting a new job I have been drinking a lot of soda. That's not the problem, I am just observing what I am doing. I also started a new job that made three weeks feel like a day. WE ARE THREE weeks into September.....eEEEEKKKKK!!!!! Training for this job has been stressful and some additional unforseen circumstances thrown in and I was not fe

Defying Gravity

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One of the best lessons I have learned, over and over again in life, is out of something bad comes something good. Last night I attended an Art Opening for a Sculpture teacher I had over 30 years ago. I had met the curator about ten years ago when I had the shop on Cookman in Asbury Park. It was nice to catch up with her. She did an excellent job capturing Michael Malpass's spirit. I had gone to the retrospective of Michael's life in 2016 at Monmouth University. The movie allowed me to get to know the family members. And, after meeting Cathy, Michael's wife, we became friends on facebook. I hope to visit the studio in the near future. I would like to give her the sculptures I made while at Georgian Court. I have one of her son's head and one of her daughter and son. I had never sculpted before, and they are a bit primative, but I think she will enjoy them. These last few weeks have flown by. I am adjusting to working full time. It's hard to make plan

Joy Ride

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As we change seasons each year as we get older, I find the best lessons. I also feel each year we should do something to spark joy. And, it shouldn't be organizing your clothes by purging and folding. My grandparents were my greatest infulencers in this part of my life. They always took time for some fun. For as long as I knew them, every Friday afternoon they had a date. It was usually lunch at Howard Johnsons and then the horse races. They took our family to our first trip to Disney World the year it opened fifty years ago. One year Disney re-released Fantasia in theatres. My grandparents let my parents go out on a date. We were grown children and they took us to see Fantasia on the big screen. They thought since it was a cartoon we all would be happy. I was so surprised when we walked out how much they LOVED it. My grandmother and grandfather chattered away about how much they enjoyed it. My brother, sister and I were a little impressed. But, we were happy to h

Feed Your Soul

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Along the way To make your day When you feel old and gray Do what you might do what you may Don't lose sight of your way Let things lay but continue to fight and do not stay in anything that does not give you joy because in the end you will know the path you took was the right way to make your future bright and full of light! Just some morning thoughts and reflections of how I am feeling today. It felt so good to get back to work this week! It was as good as a weekend in Disney! I love to have some solitude in my life, but working with the public is very satisfying. My sleep is much better. My mind is more relaxed. And, my feeling of optimism gets stronger every day. I think it is really important to go places that put us in a feeling of awe. Having and raising twins gave me that feeling every day, and still does. But, as they are adults, each year it gets harder and harder to see them in person. Always thankful that in these same ten years there is social media. I ge