Believe

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The last few weeks have been challenging. Snow day after snow day, and I love the snow. I think Monday was challenging to face after watching our New President pay tribute to the 500,000 we have lost. I still find myself in disbelief that all of this is happening. Without deadlines, with good health and no places to have to be for work, I feel I should be able to handle all of this easier. I tell myself it is good to be able to work out all of these bad feelings, as I approach a year anniversary of losing my mom. Last night I couldn't wait to watch a comedy movie or something to get me out of the sinking feeling in my gut. But, it all changed in an instant as I woke this morning (even if it was 4am). Just the sound of a bird chirping made me want to rise AND shine! Oh my goodness, how long has it been since I heard that beautiful sound? I think what we hear each day effects us as much as what we see. I know that is why I like London so much. I love the sound of their accent, and the word Lovely being spoke so much, makes me feel lovely. As far as music, I love most of it. If I don't like it, I don't suffer long, I change the channel. Today I am finishing this post on the anniversary day of losing my mom. In a year full of loss, I am still trying to figure out my way and my purpose for the future. I still need to step back and observe and feel everything. But, most of all I am coming out of this, believing. Believing the world had to do the same thing. All I can do to get through all of this, is have faith and believe our futures will be brighter. I had a break through in my artwork the last few days. Last week everything I painted I didn't care to share. I am doing all this to try to find my style. So, when I paint something, you would know right away it is my painting. Sort of like finding a piece of sea glass. You know you can't make it happen, but you want it really bad. Well, it finally happened and the last few days have been a total joy to paint, and most of all share what I have been painting. I also have found some works from college I will share, that I enjoyed working on and hope to do something with. I just had to discover again, what project I enjoyed working on for college, and translate it to my painting. Sounds easy, but it has been a process of 2 months in the making. And, that is, I have sat down and painted almost every day. Most of those days, not too happy with the outcome. So, this is a bit of a triumph for me. Quote of the day: Whatever you want in life, other people are going to want it too. Believe in yourself enough to accept the idea that you have an equal right to it. Diane Sawyer Song of the day: Rise Up Andra Day

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