Fact or Fiction?

As I travel down my journey to joy, I start to question myself. When things don't turn out the way I had hoped, I wonder why I even try. Then I remember the amount of serendipity I have had, that literally dropped wishes come true on me, without knowing I was wishing for these moments to happen at all. I have to remind myself to not to give up trying, but stop trying so hard. Since, we are approaching the half way point of the year 2021 I decided to focus on the Artists in my life who have inspired and influenced me most of my life. And, how some how I ended up meeting, taking a class or working for them. Going through all my books, I am so surprised how many I ended up having them signed by my favorites. The picture above is a book I read a lot in my tweens. I bought it on Ebay this year, because I just couldn't stop thinking about it. I love the American Artist Tasha Tudor. I read numerous articles about her in Victoria magazine and bought a few illustrated books for Kaylyn when she was a tween. I followed her and read a lot about her on the internet. I was so sad when she died, and I never took the trip to Vermont to try to meet her. Last year when I was planting the seeds for the morning glories I kept thinking about a book of fairy tales that I read. And, how when I was a tween I bought some seeds after reading Jack in the Beanstalk. I could visualize the book and then decided to see if I could find it on Ebay. I was shocked it was Tasha Tudor. I thought I just knew her from Victoria magazine and Crabtree and Evelyn. The images of this book made memories of my childhood come flooding back. Most of them are happy memories. But, that summer I planted the seeds and nothing grew still makes me remember how it effected my efforts in so many areas of my life back then. I loved the bible seed story and actually wore a necklace with a mustard seed in it. I was reading Little House on the Prairie books and remember vividly the struggles of them planting the wheat field and then losing everything in the grasshopper plague. And for a long time when it came to gardening, the thought was why bother. But, this year I planted my morning glories early and they have started to grow. And, I have planted sunflowers in two big pots, I haven't seen any growth yet, but I am still hoping. I even sent seeds in about ten of my Ebay orders with a note that said "Plant some seeds for a better tomorrow." So when I treat life with SO much hope, am I doing myself any favors? Am I too much of a dreamer to think that life is a fairy tale. I am really struggling with this thought lately. Is it because I expect too much, I can't deal with the thoughts of what I expected for my life are falling apart all around me. Is my life fact or fiction? Luckily when it comes to Artists and meeting them I have the signed books to prove I did actually meet them all. But, my home life is falling apart, and I am just supposed to forget all of it, as if it never happened? , This post was originally written on August 25th. I couldn't share it at the time. I wasn't ready to share what was happening. But, this is really what I want to concentrate on. I starting doing posts about how to deal with loss during the summer. I was dealing with the loss of my mom, the loss of a job I loved and the freedom lost during a pandemic. When I wrote this, we had started mediation for a divorce. So, as the end of the year approaches I would still like to concentrate on my journey to joy. Because, life is like this year. You never know what bumps, turns, detours and roads will end. I used to travel a lot with my dad. I would be the navigator holding the map and telling him where to turn. I would wonder, imagine and ask him. "Roads don't really end, do they?" And, he would reply "Of course, they do". My reply was; "Yes, but even if you hit a dead end, you can make a u-turn. So, as I am taking the biggest U-turn of my life, I hope you realize there is always a road to joy. There is always a way to make things better. And, I believe it is not only attitude, but determination that can make that transition happen. I also believe in God's path, and I see signs along the way, showing me I am on the right trail. (And, as a side note, I lived in my house until October and I never saw a morning glory bloom. I planted two packs of sunflower seeds and only one sunflower bloomed.) Quote of the day: " If you see the magic in a fairy tale, you can face the future. Danielle Steele" Song of the day: Happily Ever After by Jordan Fisher & Angie Keilhau